My Boys and Me

and apparently being fired is no exception for me. I am not typing this post to make light of the situation- I truly AM devastated- but because I am really interested in your thoughts and opinons. In 31 years, I’ve NEVER been fired, and I am just dumbfounded by it all.

Here’s what happened- (at least the reason I was given for being “let go”- Mike and I are convinced there is more to it that has NOTHING to do with me). Thursday morning if you remember from my last post, was the kids first day of preschool and nearing the end of a VERY busy and stressful week. Braeden, Mikey and I left our house at 7:45 to get to work at 8:00 am. We had to leave Kamryn’s house by 8:30 in order to get Braeden to school by 8:45 and Mikey and Kamryn to preschool by 9:00. My mind was buzzing with MANY thoughts, after all, it WAS Mikey’s first day of school EVER. I had to load the car with two preschoolers, two full back packs and and two more bags filled with supplies, Braeden and his back pack. I figured I would let Summer (the dog) outside while I loaded the car. She has always raced to the back yard, done her thing and then came racing back up the front steps and into the house within a minute or two. It look me at least 5 minutes to get the car loaded and kids in their car seats and then I went back to lock the front door. I took Braeden to school, took the kids to preschool, went to Starbucks, sipped a latte and then went back to pick up the kids at 11:45. I was choked up and teary as I watched Mikey on the playground (he didn’t see me). He played so nice and listened immediately when the teacher said to line up. He looked like such a big boy- total bitter-sweet moment. I was SO proud of my little guy. He came out looking like this-

He was smiling from ear to ear and was in a great mood. He was super happy and said, “I want to go again Mommy!” I was SO SO happy and the stress of the week had been lifted- at least for a few minutes.

As we were driving home, I got a message from Lori that her neighbor had called her because Summer had been sitting on the front porch all morning. When I went back up to lock the door and she hadn’t come back up front- out of sight, out of mind is the only way I can explain. Something must have caught her attention in the back yard and by the time she came back up front we had left.

I was SO upset (still am). It was a cool day so she wasn’t over-heated, but it made me sad that she was sitting outside wondering why no one was letting her in. I had hoped that Lori would have understood how easily it would be for someone who has never had a pet involved in their routine to make this mistake, but I guess not. She decided instead to allow her fear of me “forgetting to lock the door, or leaving the stove on, or leaving Kamryn somewhere” be enough to opt to find someone else. I am mortified, totally embarrassed and a thousand other things at the same time. I had JUST typed in my last blog how I’ve become “unorganized, forgetful…..” but I honestly NEVER imagined someone thinking I would EVER be so neglectful that all of the positive aspects of me working for them (which were mentioned numerous times over the past 5 weeks) no longer mattered. I’ve been a parent for 8 years, a “babysitter” for 18+ years and never EVER have I been asked not to return. I surely am nowhere NEAR perfect nor will I ever claim to be the best parent or caregiver out there, but my boys and any child I have ever cared for are so well taken care of, so loved and have NEVER, not once, been in a situation that could have brought severe harm because of something I did or didn’t do. Can you tell my self-esteem is at an all time LOW and that I am really questioning myself and my abilities?

I would LOVE your thoughts and opinions on this. While I take FULL responsibility and accept the consequences maturely, I am still so incredibly disappointed and hurt.